Caught In a Bad Bromance

The love and affection two straight bros can share with one another is mesmerizing, hilarious and often complicated. Oh, and shit can get weird. Especially when one bro's girlfriend gets jealous of the seriousness of his bromance, but it can happen, especially during the playoffs. I'm happy to say that in the 2000s dudes have become more aware and accepting of their bromances. I think the fact that most girls find it cute and charming when a guy participates in one of the non ice cream cone sharing bromances has only made their popularity sky rocket. Gentlemen, thank Brody Jenner.

So in the spirit of Bill Simmons I have compiled my favorite bromances into aptly titled divisions and, as always, they are in no particular order. Let the bro-ing out commence.

"The Bros Before Foes All-Stars"
This category is defined by men whose BFFL-hood was threatened by some saucy minx. This category was sponsored by Joey Potter.

1. Tim Riggins & Jason Street from Friday Night Lights. This friendship blossomed from "livin large in Texas...Texas forever" to Street punching Riggins in the face while in his wheelchair. Why did this occur? Because Riggs slept with his best friend's gal while his best friend was learning how to be a paraplegic. Nice. However, all was forgiven once "Captain Riggins" was able to procure Street some much needed brews. No regrets.

2. Dylan McKay & Brandon Walsh from 90210. Remember when Kelly didn't choose either of them? What an idiot.


"Real World Bros Inc."
This category represents the bros who cuddle on and off-screen.

1. Andy Richter & Conan O'Brien. Nuff said.
2. Ben Affleck & Matt Damon. They grew up in Cambridge together, wrote a miniscule film called Good Bill Hunting and now vacation together with their families regularly. Yes they both have *real* brothers that are related to them, but they're just not famous enough. Casey didn't get Ben an Oscar, DID HE?
"The Opposites Attract Division"
This division is comprised by bromances that on the surface don't make much sense, but when in action are undeniable forces. Brought to you by Paula Abdul.

1. Landry Clarke & Matt Saracen from Friday Night Lights. Landry is in a Christian speed-metal band and occasionally tutors jocks, while Matty is QB1, dates the coach's daughter and enjoys art and Bob Dylan. Match.Made.In.Heaven.
2. Zack Morris & Screech Powers from Saved by the Bell. Zach was my first encounter with a BMOC and Screech was the alien-obsessed kid who looked permanently electrocuted. This duo makes no sense, but they adored each other in a platonic "you complete me" kind of way.

3. Dr. Gregory House & Dr. James Wilson from House. One has morals, the other doesn't. They really like to push each other's buttons. Spoiler alert: in the series finale their bromance will become a marriage.



"The Squadron of Brothers from Another Mother"
This squad is primarily made up of dudes who are so similar you can't believe they aren't actually bros.

1. Chandler Bing & Joey Tribbiani from FRIENDS. See the episode where they don't leave the recliners and any time they watch Baywatch together. This is what a real bromance looks like.
2. Charlie Epps & Larry Fleinhart from Numb3rs. They intellectually stimulate each other. It's adorable. It may be because no one else understands them...you say tomato, I say ketchup.

3. Ted Mosby & Marshall Erikson from How I Met Your Mother. You know you've got a life-long BFFL-hood on your hands when you can openly weep with a fellow man over a sandwich. True love, er, bromance.

I Live For This.

In honor of March Madness I'm doing a sports-related post. I don't want anyone to think that this is just me bragging about all the rad sporting events that I've gone to, but essentially that's what it is. Deal with it.

If you don't like sports I still want you to read this post, because sports are electric, and you're missing out on one of the best ways to bond with people. Whether it's the Olympics, World Cup soccer, or the Superbowl, sports are a total conversation starter, and athletic loyalties make for great chats, debates and friendships. For all you chumps who are in the "eh, sports are okay" bracket (pun intended) please see the film Invictus and then try to sell me your shitty excuses.

So, without further ado, here's a short list of some really terrific sporting events that got my blood boiling, my heart racing and my hands looking sunburned from a myriad of high-fives.

1. On one April day in 1995 my mom showed up at my elementary school and yanked me out of class. As we walked out the front door of the school she announced that we were going to opening day at Fenway. "You're kidding!?" I squealed, to which my mother assured me she was not. We scalped tickets outside of Fenway from a man with no legs who smelled of old hot dogs and hadn't showered perhaps ever. As we entered the park I soon realized that this would be Jose Canseco's first game on the Red Sox in Fenway. I don't remember who they played, if we won, or if anyone ripped a homer, but I do remember Jose's first at bat, and the awful sunburn I got on half of my face sitting in right field.

2. Again in 1995 my Dad took me to the last Bruins game every played at The Boston Garden. I met Derek Sanderson. Nuff said.

3. In April of 2005 a roommate of mine (who happens to be the daughter of one of Boston's finest athletes in history) received a ticket opportunity courtesy of her dear old dad to go to opening day at Fenway. I love any home opener, but this one was of particular interest because my beloved Red Sox had won the World Series in 2004, and this game they would be receiving their rings in front of Satan's Children aka the New York Yankees. James Taylor sang, the 2004 pennant was unveiled over the Green Monster, I saw John Rothleisberger and Seth Meyers at the game. It was a banner day (again, pun intended).


Above I'm pictured holding my lucky blue Wheaton blanket freaking out when the Sox won the world series. Below is my view 6 months later when the banner was lowered. I still get chills.

4. On June 9, 2001 my favorite hockey player of all time, Mr. Raymond Bourque, hoisted the Stanley Cup for the first time, as he and his Colorado Avalanche won in game 7. I cried. Actually that doesn't do it justice, I sat blubbering doing the old Ray fist pump like I had just scored my first hat trick. It was momentous, and the entire reason he left Boston in the first place. Fast forward to October 4, 2001 and I'm at the Fleet Center for the Bruins home opener watching Ray retire his number 77 and salute the crowd in both French and English. The trusty cleaners of the Fleet Center must not have dusted that day, because there was something in my eye all night long. Sniff sniff.

5. On March 10, 2010 (just last week) I was in Florida on vacation with my family, and we had tickets to a pre-season Red Sox game at City of Palms Park. Little did we know that Nomar Garciaparra would be retiring that day, singing a 1 day contract with the Sox, and throwing out the first pitch at the game. It was serious luck, and a really fun day. Nomahhh forevah.

And now I dare you to not watch an athletic event and feel some sort of human connection. Who the hell doesn't like underdogs? Oh that's right, Yankees and their fans. Aw, snap.

Kindle It On Your Nook...or Whatever.

I fear that most contemporary people are answering questions not because they're flattered by the attention; they're answering questions because they feel as though they deserve to be asked. About everything. Their opinions are special, so they are entitled to a public forum. Their voice is supposed to be heard, lest their life become empty.
This, in one paragraph (minus technology), explains the rise of New Media (Klosterman, 19).

I have a a fan site for a heart-felt show called Friday Night Lights, I have a Facebook account, I have two Twitter accounts, I have an iPhone, I have this personal blog and I have a MySpace account that I just remembered exists. You could say I dabble in New Media. Or, you could just say I'm a regular 24-year-old. Klosterman, in his latest book Eating the Dinosaur, devotes a lot of time to discussing his profession as a writer and interviewer. As a result of this he profoundly decides that us contemporaries are answering questions for the wrong reasons. I submit that while I do enjoy hearing my own voice from time to time, that this notion of answering questions because we're "supposed to be heard" is an unavoidable social construct if you a) live in America or b) use the internet daily. I hardly think that my life will become null and void without updating my status or deleting my blogs, but it would most definitely become much more boring. I think what Klosterman fails to admit in Eating the Dinosaur is that contemporary people are used to multi-tasking and sharing information at a rapid pace, even if the information is as moronic as "just ate McDonalds, my stomach wishes I hadn't". It's not so much that we think our voices deserve to be heard, as it is that we like attention and networking. Maybe I'm just spitballing here, or speaking for myself, but if any of what I just jabbered about interests you READ EATING THE DINOSAUR IMMEDIATELY. Klosterman is a thought-provoking media guru who somehow manages to reference ABBA, Ted Kaczynski & Friday Night Lights all in 229 rad pages of goodness.

Note to readers: this post is supposed to be filled with book recommendations, but the English major in me just exploded after I typed that astute comment from Mr. Klosterman at the top of the page. From here on out I'll behave.

Things You Should Read:

1. Chuck Klosterman's Eating the Dinosaur. See above, but I should also acknowledge that his other essay topics include, but are not limited to: football, advertising, manufactured laughter, Nirvana (the band), and what it means to interview.

2. Kathryn Sockett's The Help. I majored in English and Africana/Diaspora Studies, so I may be a little biased when it comes to this absurdly good Civil Rights Movement era novel that takes place in Jackson Mississippi, but I'm fairly certain it's excellent all around. This novel is about three brave women who ban together to tell the story of "the help" that raised a generation of southern children in America. This novel reads like the love child of Toni Morrison and Jodi Picoult. Divine.

3. Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson Series. Imagine if the protagonists and the antagonists of Harry Potter were Greek Gods & their half human children. Well, Percy Jackson just found out he is Poseidon's son and that he's gotta learn to kick some ass. Nuff said.

4. Tim Winton's Breath. This is a beautiful and haunting tale of two boys coming of age in Western Australia, and learning to surf from an old dare devil named Sando that has battled more waves than is sane. A taster:

I leant across the wall of upstanding water and the board came with me as though it was part of my body and mind. The blur of spray. The billion shards of light. I remember the solitary watching figure on the beach and the flash of Loonie's smile as I flew by; I was intoxicated. And though I've lived to be an old man with my own share of happiness for all the mess I made, I still judge every joyous moment, every victory and revelation against those few seconds of living (Winton, 35).

You should've bought this book yesterday.

The 00's Were Tolerable Because...

In the 2000s I managed to graduate from high school, college and graduate school. I got my driver's license, my first car, and got sick from drinking for the first time. When the millennium hit I was watching Carson Daly host some absurd MTV New Years Eve special, with cans of sterno by my side and silver bands bedazzling my braces. I was 15, and obviously incredibly cool. This is one long list of the people, places and things that got me through the 2000s. Cheers to a new decade!

Almost Famous
Friday Night Lights (TV Show)
Alias
The Wire
Gilmore Girls
Harry Potter (books and films)
Tina Fey
Justin Timberlake
Taylor Swift
Twilight Saga (books and films)
Chuck Klosterman
Bill Simmons aka ESPN's Sports Guy
Pixar
Facebook
Twitter
Gmail/Gchat
New England Patriots
Conan O'Brien
Boston Celtics
American Idol
Boston Red Sox
LOST
Will Smith
Beyonce
Oprah
Jay-Z
Robert Downey Jr.
Jon Stewart
Ellen Degeneres
Glee
House
JJ Abrams
iPods
YouTube
iPhones
Arrested Development
iTunes
The Dark Knight
Matt Damon
Six Feet Under
Ray-Bans
The Bourne Trilogy
SNL Digital Shorts
Michael Phelps
Dave Chappelle
How I Met Your Mother
The Departed
Bruce Springsteen
U2
The Office
Juno
Entourage
Weeds
Reese Witherspoon
Rihanna
Ray LaMontagne
Entertainment Weekly
Malcolm Gladwell
The Revival of Alec Baldwin
Crocs
Athens & Beijing Olympics
Uggs
Chelsea Handler
Febreeze
Jodi Picoult
TOMS shoes
Britney Spears
Netflix
Gwen Stefani
Hilary Swank
Coldplay
The Lovely Bones
TiVo
Barack Obama
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Amy Poehler
Julia Roberts
Clint Eastwood
SNL Weekend Update
MGMT
Joshua Radin
Natalie Portman
Jenny Lewis
Wii