Caught In a Bad Bromance

The love and affection two straight bros can share with one another is mesmerizing, hilarious and often complicated. Oh, and shit can get weird. Especially when one bro's girlfriend gets jealous of the seriousness of his bromance, but it can happen, especially during the playoffs. I'm happy to say that in the 2000s dudes have become more aware and accepting of their bromances. I think the fact that most girls find it cute and charming when a guy participates in one of the non ice cream cone sharing bromances has only made their popularity sky rocket. Gentlemen, thank Brody Jenner.

So in the spirit of Bill Simmons I have compiled my favorite bromances into aptly titled divisions and, as always, they are in no particular order. Let the bro-ing out commence.

"The Bros Before Foes All-Stars"
This category is defined by men whose BFFL-hood was threatened by some saucy minx. This category was sponsored by Joey Potter.

1. Tim Riggins & Jason Street from Friday Night Lights. This friendship blossomed from "livin large in Texas...Texas forever" to Street punching Riggins in the face while in his wheelchair. Why did this occur? Because Riggs slept with his best friend's gal while his best friend was learning how to be a paraplegic. Nice. However, all was forgiven once "Captain Riggins" was able to procure Street some much needed brews. No regrets.

2. Dylan McKay & Brandon Walsh from 90210. Remember when Kelly didn't choose either of them? What an idiot.


"Real World Bros Inc."
This category represents the bros who cuddle on and off-screen.

1. Andy Richter & Conan O'Brien. Nuff said.
2. Ben Affleck & Matt Damon. They grew up in Cambridge together, wrote a miniscule film called Good Bill Hunting and now vacation together with their families regularly. Yes they both have *real* brothers that are related to them, but they're just not famous enough. Casey didn't get Ben an Oscar, DID HE?
"The Opposites Attract Division"
This division is comprised by bromances that on the surface don't make much sense, but when in action are undeniable forces. Brought to you by Paula Abdul.

1. Landry Clarke & Matt Saracen from Friday Night Lights. Landry is in a Christian speed-metal band and occasionally tutors jocks, while Matty is QB1, dates the coach's daughter and enjoys art and Bob Dylan. Match.Made.In.Heaven.
2. Zack Morris & Screech Powers from Saved by the Bell. Zach was my first encounter with a BMOC and Screech was the alien-obsessed kid who looked permanently electrocuted. This duo makes no sense, but they adored each other in a platonic "you complete me" kind of way.

3. Dr. Gregory House & Dr. James Wilson from House. One has morals, the other doesn't. They really like to push each other's buttons. Spoiler alert: in the series finale their bromance will become a marriage.



"The Squadron of Brothers from Another Mother"
This squad is primarily made up of dudes who are so similar you can't believe they aren't actually bros.

1. Chandler Bing & Joey Tribbiani from FRIENDS. See the episode where they don't leave the recliners and any time they watch Baywatch together. This is what a real bromance looks like.
2. Charlie Epps & Larry Fleinhart from Numb3rs. They intellectually stimulate each other. It's adorable. It may be because no one else understands them...you say tomato, I say ketchup.

3. Ted Mosby & Marshall Erikson from How I Met Your Mother. You know you've got a life-long BFFL-hood on your hands when you can openly weep with a fellow man over a sandwich. True love, er, bromance.